see the entry subject, thats that way i was ALL night. and part of today. well. i didnt have school today bcuz Frasers cool like that. but my sisters and brother had school tho. im SPECIAL. but yeah. its been a really boring day. i work up like earier then i wanted to at like 9, and then i went online did some stuff and just sat around. who cares right? not me of course. then i just ate like 5 bowls of icecream with sunchips bcuz im so depressed about everything that happened last night. i seriously thougth of just killing myself, but ill save everyone the tears and let myself die naturally. you kno. well then i made myself some pasta stuff (from a box) it wasnt that good. so i only had like 7 bites of it. i kno im a waster what can i say. but yeah. i dont kno what im doing the rest of the day. some ppl wanna go out, but i dont kno if im in the MOOD to go out today. i just wanna sit at home curled up in a ball and lay in bed, listen to my sad music and just cry away the pain. omg i sound so EMO. but im not EMO.
DAYLY BOTHERING AND CONFESSIONS man, i always do this. i cant help but speak my mind with my boyfriend. i mean i love him to death. and last night. damn. i need to stop telling him what to do and all that ohter shit. i cant stand him being mad at me. it beaks my heart like seriously. last night we were talking and i guess it was my fault i sayd something that wasnt that good and that upset him. so yeah. i told him i loved him and he dint say it back. like OMG that seriously killed me. it brought me to tears. and just writing about it now is making me CRY. omg amanda get a hold of yourself. dang im talking to myself. this is so NOT normal. maybe ill just give him time. but i miss him so much and i love him so much i just dont think he understands how much i do really care for him. its just heartbreaking to kno that.....
ah, gotta get a tissuse.
ok i think this is the end of my update. ill update later maybe.